Sermon preached at the Unitarian Society of Ridgewood, October 7, 2018
October 7 begins the National Alliance on Mental Health's Awareness Week
Dedicated with particular affection to the Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Washington Crossing for the support they provided me and so many others
The only way out is through.
I can recall having anxiety attacks from as young as age eight. But it was at 15, that what I now understand was, the disease of clinical depression began to spread and damage my body (of which my brain is a part). For a short time in my teenage years, I received some care from a psychologist, but it was thought my sadness and stress was situational. After I was accepted into the college I most wanted to attend for undergrad I was deemed fine. But the illness had not been informed of this diagnosis. I continued to have acute feelings of hopelessness, unworthiness, and loneliness, as well as, what could at times be paralyzing anxiety. These episodes came every few months throughout my college years and into my mid twenties all while I maintained a 3.74 GPA, a Dean’s Scholarship, an active presence in my sorority and campus life, a couple long term romantic relationships (it was college, in some instances the long-term part was relative). I became the first reporter hired out of my Broadcast Journalism graduating class co-hort and when I found that career wasn’t all I had wished, I moved to New Jersey with 2 suitcases and $500 (with the help of my college sweetheart, a true long term relationships) and by age 25 had worked in Manhattan (if you can make it there!), was settled into a dependable marketing job in New Jersey and had returned home to the faith tradition of which I was raised. Within 5 months of my joining a Unitarian Universalist congregation I was presenting in the pulpit.
By all outside appearances, I was an outgoing, smart, confident, successful and fun-loving individual. And I was all that. I still am. But there remained an insidious infection that I could not shake and even when I thought I had willed it away, it would in time return and twist how I thought of myself. It altered what I thought I deserved and caused fear to what fate I might be destined. I told no one. For even worse than this utter torment was my fear that if I spoke any of these thoughts aloud it would make them true. I would become weak, an embarrassment, worthless, unloved, crazy.
“There’s a virus spreading across America.” Shares the National Alliance on Mental Illness in this year’s CureStigma Campaign. “It harms the 1 in 5 Americans affected by mental health conditions. It shames them into silence. It prevents them from seeking help. And in some cases, it takes lives. What virus are we talking about? It’s stigma. Stigma against people with mental health conditions. But there’s good news. Stigma is 100% curable. Compassion, empathy and understanding are the antidote. Your voice can spread the cure.”
Recent statistic show 43.8 million American adults, that’s over 18% of our population, will experience a Mental Illness this year.[1]
By mental illness we mean:
¨ Anxiety Disorders: A common group of mental illnesses (panic disorder, OCD, PTSD, phobias) that can often cause people to feel frightened, distressed or uneasy.
¨ Attention Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD/ADHD): A condition characterized by inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity.
¨ Bipolar Disorder: An illness that typically includes extreme shifts in mood, energy and functioning that include mania and depression.
¨ Depression: An illness that affects one’s thoughts, feelings, behavior, physical health, activity and sleep patterns. Left untreated, it can lead to suicide.
¨ Eating disorders:There are three main types: Anorexia Nervosa (severe food restriction) and Bulimia Nervosa (binging and purging) and Binge Eating (binging without purging).
¨ Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD):An anxiety disorder where the person experiences intrusive irrational thoughts that appear repeatedly in their mind.
¨ Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD):Brought on by traumatic events, this disorder can be long lasting and may include re-experiencing, avoidance, arousal and numbing.
¨ And Schizophrenia: A serious mental illness where a person experiences psychotic symptoms (hallucinations and delusions), emotional flatness, and trouble with thinking processes.
Half of all chronic mental illness begins by age 14; three-quarters by age 24. Despite effective treatment, there are long delays—sometimes decades—between the first appearance of symptoms and when people get help.[2]
For one in 25 of us, mental illness will substantially interfere of limit our activities this year. But only 41% of those experiencing illness or a mental health condition will receive medical services.[3] A great deal of this is because of stigma, but let us not forget the importance of access for services and the disparities that exist within them. Communities comprised predominantly by people of color have less access to treatment, and when they do it is often a poorer quality of care in a culturally insensitive health system where they experience racism including language barriers and lower rates of health insurance.[4]
For our LGBTQ communities, who have 2-3 times the need of mental health services than straight people - especially our teens, when attempting to receive care they experience homophobia and discrimination. Transgender people and others who identify beyond a gender-binary report being denied care by mental health clinics.[5] If you feel so called, you can find additional information at nami.org including ways you can advocate for yourself or others.
But the barriers and stigma that currently exist means that today 18-22 United States veterans will die by suicide. The second leading cause of death for people aged 15-34 is suicide, only second to what is caused unintentional injury – car wrecks. And suicide is the third leading cause of death for children ages 10-14. [6] From those age ranges, we lost 12,847 beings of light, human beings, in 2015. And we continue to do so in a similar rate every year. Lives that may have found other choices, had they received the support and care that I believe is all of our birth rite.
A verse the Old Testament, Ecclesiastes 4 says:
Two are better than one,because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who fallsand has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
You sometimes see couples, as I have as a wedding officiant, create a braid from ribbon or chord at their weddings. Each partner representing 2 of the strands and the third is Representative of Spirit, what some people know as God, or what many of us might feel in moments of loving connection: whether that be with Nature, with our nearest and dearest people in our lives, or in the shared experience of congregational life at its best.
Today, 17 years after I initially sought treatment, I can share that while depression and anxiety has not fully left me, I have strong resources to turn to in difficult moments. But I did not get here by myself. I don’t know if I would be where I am today without Unitarian Universalist community, on a number of levels, but in this aspect of my life particularly so. It was through a support group within a Unitarian Universalist congregation for those who were living with, or had family living with, mental illness that I began to take charge of my own mental health. It was alongside the love and care of members of that group that I found my first therapist, got through the fear of stigma that kept me from trying medication, and learned how life-giving it was to be with other people whom validated the hard to share experiences--not despite of--but as part of our worth and our dignity. Having others value and celebrate my presence on this earth, just as I was, and who believed that I could create a healthier, more whole life for myself, helped propel me to do it. And in turn I learned how it was to create peer relationships and provide support to others.
This type of welcome, encouragement and validation seems absolutely vital in times such as these. National events are serving as greater triggers to those of us with a disposition to mental illness and I can only imagine that new fear-based policies may result in another uptick of mental health conditions.
The Rev. Barbara Meyers leads the Unitarian Universalist Mental Health Ministry with the Mission Peak UU Congregation in Fremont California. She shares that “since the 1990s there has been an explosion of studies on religion and how it affects physical and mental healing. Most of it suggests that religious commitment plays a significantly beneficial role in preventing mental and physical illness, improving how people cope with mental and physical illness, and facilitating recovery from illness.” She continues “that in particular Unitarian Universalism lends itself to supportive healthy practices since both spiritual and rational world views are embraced in our sources of religious truth. In this she says self-direction and internal control are enhanced. Further, religious characteristics that have been found to be harmful to mental health, including guilt, devaluing human nature, punishment in hell, and paranoia about evil, are not generally true of Unitarian Universalists.”[7]
From this I find we are particularly poised to be part of faith movement efforts to fight against misinformation, indifference and ridicule of people living with mental illness.
Mental illness, brain illnesses and mental disorders often place an individual and his or her family on the margins of society, to be excluded and isolated. Can you imagine what is happening to people living on the margins already and how the current administration policies are compounding trauma, anxiety and fear? Our calling is to open the doorways of inclusion, to become centers of healing and growth. For me, my faith, this faith, is that essential third strand in the chord that helps give me strength.
Elizabeth Lesser in her book Broken Open writes, “I would wonder if I hadn’t gotten it wrong. Maybe one could defy the odds and frolic through life without a big fall. When I noticed someone teetering near the edge, I would pray for her to walk around the abyss. Now I pray for something different.
I pray that each of us stays awake as we fall. I pray that we choose to go into the abyss willingly and that our fall is cushioned by faith – faith that at the bottom we will be caught and taught and turned toward the light. I pray that we don’t waste precious energy feeling ashamed of our mistakes, or embarrassed by our flaws. After years of teaching, I know only a few things for sure. One is this: We are chunks of dense matter that need to be cracked open. Our errors and failings are chinks in the heart’s armor through which our true colors can shine.”
I pray that each of us is provided the support and care we need to stay awake when we fall.
I pray that we find ourselves able to go into the abyss willingly and that our fall is cushioned by faith – faith that at the bottom we are caught and taught and provided the support to turn ourselves toward the light.
The only way out is through.
May we be that example that no one of us must travel the journey alone.
Amen and Blessed Be.
[1]https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-By-the-Numbers
[2]https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/208671
[3]https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-By-the-Numbers
[4]https://www.nami.org/NAMI/media/NAMI-Media/Infographics/MulticulturalMHFacts10-23-15.pdf
[5]https://www.nami.org/NAMI/media/NAMI-Media/Infographics/MulticulturalMHFacts10-23-15.pdf
[6]https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-By-the-Numbers
[7]https://mpuuc.org/mhm/mental-health-information/faith-mental-health/
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